Firstly apologies its
been a while since I've blogged. The biggest reason is that I've
returned to work. I'm six weeks in now, practically an expert – so
that obviously gives me the right to blog about it... So, for those
of you that haven’t been in the situation yet, let me tell you what
its been like for me.
I found the job through
an ex colleague and friend, covering her maternity leave at a company
just local enough and double handy for childcare arrangements.
I negotiated 3 days a
week and set about finding a childminder for 2 of the days – my outlaws had offered to have her on the third day.
I went to my local council and got
a list of local childminders with vacancies and picked out a name I
liked, with a outstanding Ofsted rating etc. I phoned her. She sounded
lovely, but she couldn’t take on an under two year old. She
recommended someone else. I phoned that person (next on my list as
it happened), set up a meeting and immediately knew she was perfect.
Her house is the right mix of messy and lovely. It's clean but
comfortable with a large garden, playroom and massive kitchen/diner
with obligatory homely wooden table and welsh dressers dotted about.
She is about ten years my senior – another draw for me, say what
you like, but in your thirties you still have a selfishness about you
that you just don't seem to have in your forties. She has two lovely
teenage daughters and has been a foster carer for many years. They
have a couple of cute lap cats and a dog that I simply wanted to put
into my bag and steal. I'm not a dog person, but this dog is a real
sweetheart, small, quiet and soppy as you like with kids. Perfect. My
daughter is very happy there – hell I'd like to spend 2 days a week
there, painting, cooking, digging, playing... and the dinners she
gets! God, I read the diary the childminder does at the end of each
day and think – wow, that dinner/lunch sounds lovely...
So, the usual angst of
leaving them with someone else, crying, etc... is just not there when
I have my work days. Clearly the day with her grandparents is a god
send, they love having her and she loves being there.
My daughter seems to
have thrived since I went back to work. I knew in the final months
at home, I was failing her, providing mostly a boring day for her
filled with housework, telly and play with the same old toys. The
childminder is focussed on her finding fun activities and developing
her skills, plus the interaction with the other kids of varying ages
has bought her speech, motor skills and confidence on in absolute
leaps. Aside from that following the days with the childminder and
her grandparents she is sooo ready for bed after a full day.
The job I'm doing is
mundane in parts and complex in others – enough to keep me
interested but not stressful or over wrought. My boss is a good
humoured Septic (American) and my colleagues are a mixture of
foreigners and locals – friendly but not overly so. There are some
differences to working as a full time non mum to working as a part
time mum. Your priorities are different and your colleague's level
of commitment to including you and getting to know you is somewhat
lesser. I'm okay with that, I have lots of friends outside work and
a supportive partner and family. I won't lie, I have found being
the new girl hard though and lonely at times. Being at home for 18
months doesn’t boost your confidence in social situations,
but its getting easier to talk about something other than my baby.
On the upside I have a couple of people to sit with in the lunch room
and I've started to get to know those that sit around me a little
better – day by day.
The rest of it –
fitting in the house work etc. – my two delicious days off during
the week and what to do with them– well that is all coming together
okay, its early days.
My verdict and tips on returning
to work:
If you want to do it,
then you should give it a try. If you enjoy being at home, embrace it, we are all different and it's not one size fits all even when you have a baby.
Good child care cover
is key – if they are happy and safe, you are happy. Childminders
are cheaper than nurseries and in my opinion provide flexibility and a chance for you to build
a relationship with your child's carer.
The drive to and from
work, with the stereo up and the windows down, is the best part of
the day – oh and having a whole hour to yourself at lunchtime - read about Mr Grey - don't mind if I do!!!
Don't get a highly
stressed job – its going to make it very hard – save that for later in
your career or forget it – your priorities have changed.
Get your partner/support network on
board – that is pretty important because you need them to be nice
to you, help you round the house, pour you a glass of wine after a
hard day and give you a lie in at the weekend...
Plan, plan, plan..
getting your routine sorted will help you stay stress free in the
morning and when you get home.
Don't feel guilty,
worrying about work/the child. Live in the moment you are in.
If you can, try and go
back part time, it really is the best of both worlds.
